Balanced Bits

Tradeoff Central

As I watch my children's adult lives (and the lives of my friends' children) evolve, I am constantly reminded that there are often no simple answers to life's choices and that tradeoffs must be carefully thought through.

It seems like it all comes down to what you do for your source of income and what you do with your life. (I'm sure there is something here linked to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs). All the nuances of where you live, your relationship with your partner, your family, etc. get wrapped up into just those two points.

Perhaps being a bit simplistic, I summarize adulthood into the beginning, middle, and end of one's working life. Along this spectrum there are pairs of questions and a decision as to which answer is more important.

• First, what job do I want? Where do I live? Then,

• Do I grow my career (and make more money)? What type of partner/parent will/should I be? Then,

• Do I keep working and how much money do I need balanced against what do I want to do with the rest of my life?

I'm at the last bullet and made the choice to retire from IBM. I'm thrilled with my decision with different work projects and a lot more activities on the life side, too. The reason it works for me is that I no longer have ties to a job and work hours (never really 9 - 5, but still pretty typical). I now have 7 days a week, 24 hours a day to pick and choose what to do.

I absolutely get to my desk late each day. I find the time for more lunches and time away on family things. And I do my work at all hours of the day and night. It took me a while to realize that that was my norm and now that I am aware of it, it's even better! I think I have a pattern that works.

As a contrast, William Falk in the Editor's Letter of the May 6 issue of The Week wrote a about of the retirement of his father, saying: "But I usually found him sitting at the kitchen table, creating work for himself amid piles of paper—micromanaging his retirement accounts, inspecting his doctors' bills. There was often a sad, wistful air about him; he never stopped missing his job and the pride he took in it".

A good reminder. I'll continue to be vigilant and hopefully self-aware, knowing what makes (my family and) me happy.

Those of you in the beginning or middle stages of work-life, think through you choices for your definition of being happy and successful. It is up to you to find the balance to ensure that it just keeps getting better.

Photo Credit

How Much of Work (and Life) is a Game?

I still continue to believe that success at work (and at life) requires a combination of content and style. I wrote about it when I first started blogging. This post is about the "style" you have while doing your job and the perception of your peers and your management about you at work. The "content" side of your job is pretty straightforward:

• Doing what is expected and needed
• Doing things the right way
• Delivering expected results

I don't know your job, so I can't tell you what you need to do. But I'd like you to think about how you do it, the style with which you do so.

• How do you handle adversity? If things are bad at work, what shows when someone looks at you? Do they know that you feel beaten or that you are going to rise to this challenge and be successful no matter what?
• Do you make your boss look good? Your boss still manages your career, gives you pay raises, etc. Have you ever thought about how your work makes him or her look better?
• How about your peer interaction? I'm not expecting you to make all your best friends at work, but do you occasionally go to lunch or out for a drink after work? It's important. And you might like it.
• Are you coming across as hardworking as you are? I hate to say it, but you occasionally need to toot your own horn. You can be subtle and still do it directly—by sharing some new, fresh ideas with your manager. And remember your accomplishments and why they are important to the business.

Some interpersonal and visibility thoughts:

• Work well with your peers and others, all the time. Don't sulk, don't be snarky, don't be seen complaining (save if for the dinner table at home—occasionally.)
• I worked late most nights doing all my email. But if you don't have that much time do you at least read the mails to you from your boss and respond to those?
• If you have chat systems (AOL IM, Lotus Sametime, etc.) are you visible off hours? Cheesy, eh? Well—that's life (oops, I mean work!).

What's negative?

• The employee who comes across with no initiative.
• The employee who can't seem to navigate across the organization.
• The employee who doesn't smile when given a challenge.

We've all heard that aphorism that "perception is reality". It's true and you have to think about your how others perceive you. If you get a confusing or difficult assignment does any negativity come through to your boss? Even if you have no idea, approach every task in a positive manner and start to dig in.

What about Life? Do these same tenets hold? You bet! As a matter of fact you might behave better in the office because you might have some odd thought that something important is at stake (like your livelihood). But at home, if you want to be grumpy what's the problem? Well—what about your relationships?

So be that hardworking, smiling person in the office and at home. As Gillette said in 1984, "Never let them see you sweat".

Photo Credit: Martin Cathrae

Weekend Musings

What did you do this weekend?

In a recent catch-up exchange with a colleague of mine, we covered the typical updates around work, kids, travel, etc. The end of her note wrapped up with how the family comes back together with a simple "Weekends are precious". How perfect!

To me the weekend is defined by having far less important emails arriving and far less calendared items that drive our Monday through Fridays. It is an opportunity to do something meaningful—either professionally, with your family or friends, or for yourself. If your weekend is approached with too casual an approach you could be missing out.

Many of us use weekends to catch up on work. But what does it mean if you are doing your normal Monday through Friday work on the weekend? It would be good to know if you have a workload or productivity issues that causes this. Is this work so urgent that you have to spend your weekend on this? I prefer to take weekend time to thoughtfully work on important projects that just don't get done during the week.

How about those nitty little household projects? It seems that it is too easy to just let them ride until the next week... and the next week. I'm so good at making the lists and thinking about what to do, but I'm as guilty as the next person when it comes to doing stuff. The key for me is to just get started. I'm still working on this myself and as soon as I finish with this blog entry I'm going to go see if I can finally determine why the bathroom sink is leaking!

Are you using your weekends for friends and family? Formal get-togethers, spur of the moment meals or catching up via the phone are far more satisfying and different than reading Facebook updates. As a matter of fact, why do these activities only have to happen on the weekend? Why not have a meal with friends during the week? What a way to improve your work-life balance... and your overall disposition!

Speaking about your disposition. What about exercise, sleeping in, reading? Weekends are a huge opportunity to take care of yourself.

Thoughtful approaches to what you do with your time are key. Whether it is your after dinner time or your weekend, it is all about choice. We are merely balancing a different set of things.

The Questions of the Days

I recently I got yelled at by my one of my friends that I've been remiss in posting. Now I have a 25 year old and a 50-something on my case. (Sadly, they are right.)

I have spent a lot of time, though, talking with people about current issues. These conversations have been with college students, recent college graduates, some young in the business, some mid-career and people at my end of the spectrum. Common themes have emerged. 

Here are some of the questions with a high level answer to see if we can stir up some dialogs.

• Can I find the job I want in the city that I'd like to live? If the answer is yes, then you have a great Balanced Bits start. If not, then I would suggest that getting (or having) a job is far more important then being where you want to live. Learning to be happy where you are is a life skill for a person of any age. Find reasons to be happy, not upset.
• I'm in a job, but I'm still not in the career field that I want. Patience! It's good to know that you aren't where you want to be and that you have a vision, but by having a job you can more easily change jobs. Can you make that career change and stay at your current company? If not, have you spent enough time and built enough credibility so that you can make the shift? Turn up the networking!
• I'm in a job, but not in the location I want. See above.
• I'm not sure what job to pursue as many things interest me. Well, pick something. Pick something that ties to your prior experiences as it will make you a better candidate. You can pick more than one thing, but have different versions of your resume, etc. Please pick something to pursue that you believe will make you happy. You spend too many hours a day at work to be miserable. No time for patience here - be aggressive in finding that job. Use every connection you have to augment your job hunt.
• How do I break into a new business area and monetize my skills? Learn all you can about where you want to be. Networking is key. If it is appropriate, offer free services. Please don't think this answer is for recent college graduates thinking about internship. This is something I've done in my post-retirement life, too!

And let me add a final question: What is a balanced life? How about a life where you have a job that you like with enough income to support yourself along with a support structure of friends and/or family where you have the relationships you want and good personal time, too.

A cartoon in the most recent edition of "The New Yorker" magazine depicted two men sitting on a park bench. One says: "On the bright side, ever since the layoff and my divorce it's been much easier to balance work and family". 

Their cartoons seem to always be some of the best barometers of our social situations.

 

The "Moms with Apps" App

Not quite a Balanced Bits piece, but for all you with kids, grandkids, nephews and nieces, I want to make you aware of a free app for the iPad or the iPhone from a wonderful organization that I am part of, called Moms with Apps. 

With a rich set of categorization you can easily find hundreds and hundreds of apps by age group, learning area and more. Definitely worth checking out. 

And I could argue it is Balanced Bits because it makes a parent's life easier!

All the best. And more posts coming - - I promise.

Jon

P.S. One of the reason I've been late in posting is that my post-retirement career is evolving. One endeavor has already been shuttered, but another one is beginning to take off. I'm spending a lot of time with the new one. 

This Job is Killing Me: Work-Life and Boundaries

Blog scope: Those relatively young in their careers. Perhaps less than 10 years in the business world. (Although this should be a good reinforcing lesson for all.)

I'm troubled. In my post on the new normal, I felt that many of us have become employees that are too worried about keeping their jobs to even think about themselves and their work-lives. Just keep your head low, do your job well and not rock the boat about going to a kid's soccer game or shifting work hours. Not good.

We know that technology enables us to be always working and I see that as an enabler to good work-life balance. The question is whether you are always under pressure to be available and responsive to your boss. It seems now as if the urgency of responsiveness is expected vs. it being that extra effort. Who is in control of your time?

Let me first say that for much of my latter career I was a bit of a workaholic. But at that point, my children were a bit older and we had a developed working family routine for two working parents with a good support structure. I chose this as I was becoming more visible and felt I was advancing to becoming an executive. I also felt that there was a reasonable give and take in terms of my commitment to the business and what I was given back in current (and hopefully future) compensation. I managed my work-life balance staying up late doing email, instant messaging with colleagues, etc. That said, when I was fairly senior and I saw a more junior person online, I would pressure them to get off the system and spend time with their family

Don't we all want to advance our careers and shouldn't we be pushing, pushing all the time? I don't think so. Be excellent at it all - in balance. Do a great job at work but make sure you have boundaries. If you are relatively junior in the business, you should not be indispensable. Don't answer your phone when you are on vacation. Don't work every evening. Work your family.

Look, work will ebb and flow and you will be putting in extraordinary time commitments at times. But if this is becoming a habit, then you need to think about what treadmill you have jumped onto and if this is what you really want. There is no wrong answer—just be thoughtful about where you are in life and what the ramifications of your work decisions will be outside of work.

A colleague of mine went away with family for a few days and left his laptop at home. He knew what was he had to get done and that he'd get it done on time. He also knew that having his laptop would be too great a temptation to disengage from what was more important—his family. Well done!

With good communications around expectations of what it due and when and what the expectations of your availability should be, it should still be a win-win where your employer wins with you as an employee and you win on work-life.

Remember that it's not a matter of flipping the bird at your management chain to find your balance. At least not while they can see.

Photo credit: Seattle Municipal Archives. (I found great pictures of all men or all women, but not a mixed pool. That, in itself, is kind of interesting.)

The Looking for a Job Guide to Work-Life

First, calm down. You are in tough times. This will show what you are made of.

Let's get some basic definitions out of the way.

• Work is generating income. You might even be one of the ever increasing numbers of boomerang kids and live with your parents, but go get a minimum wage job. Or two!
• Life is basic living: a roof over your head, food and transportation.

In many cases the financial equation doesn't close. You might have to rely on the support of family or friends (couch surfing), but hopefully you will return the favor someday. Prioritization takes on a whole new meaning within these narrow definitions. Meeting friends in an expensive coffee shop might not something you can afford.

Despite all the hours you might be spending behind a cash register, your number one job is finding a job. Spend as much time as you possibly can on this.

• Do you have a great resume? Does it tell "your story"? Make sure your activities have common themes that ties to what you want to do. (And if you are pursuing a few different jobs, it is ok to have a few different resumes).
• Are you pursuing all options? Not only should you check all the job listing sites, but you should be looking at all the companies that you might be interested in and seeing what openings they have on their web sites.
• Do not think that an application or an email is it. Be aggressive - try to call the company and find people to speak with.
• Find other people to talk with and get advice. Ask for an "informational interview". Every few networking calls will yield another networking call and these calls increase your odds significantly.

Leverage every contact you have who might be able to refer you to a company. It is completely naive to think you can do this without any help from others who might know someone. And don't worry about it. A connection is merely opening a door. Your personality and skills keep you in the game.

And when you get an interview, treat it with great importance. Do you homework. Know the company well and be able to position yourself within that company. Read about business. Read about the industry. Read sites like Career Realism. Take nothing for granted.

All this hard work and perseverance will pay off. Once established in a job you can step back and take a broader look at your career and your life. One step at a time.

The Starting Out Work-Life Roadmap

Gather 'round all ye who are done with college and are fortunate to have found a job. For those who are still seeking employment, I'll have a post for you in the near future.

What matters? Finding the balance and being happy in most of what you do! As you will spend a large percentage of your life working, you have to be happy with your job choice. You also need to make sure you are happy with what you do when not working and even that requires some thinking and planning.

Let's take this in simple steps.

1. Be successful at work. Treat your job very, very seriously. Don't worry at the outset about career or income growth. Just be successful. Listen and learn and try to make a positive impact on those around you.
2. Don't worry too much about your short term accommodations. Find a place that doesn't put a burden on your work success. Many people choose longer commutes, but that puts a burden on you while you are starting out. What matters initially is all about ensuring you can focus on your job.
3. Then determine where to live to balance your social life with your work needs. OK - the first hard choice. Do you want to go out every night with friends or on weekends? What activities are important to you outside of work? Questions like this will influence where you choose to live. Maybe that longer commute is ok for you once you are established at work.
4. Enjoy life. You are too young to dedicate yourself fully to money and a career. As you'll likely be working for the next thirty to forty years or more, don't become that workaholic. Talking out of both sides of my mouth, see #1 above. But please find that balance to ensure you are happy.

Many of you might drift away from your parents as those college days move into the past and you take this opportunity to figure out what makes you happy with your friends, relationships and your family. (Please don't cross family off your list, btw. You should never lose this important connection—trust me).

Once you are settled in, it might be time to take a look back and see if you are on the right career path. Are you happy? Ask your management if they see you growing. Always keep career thoughts simmering on the back burner (it is never turned off) and recognize when it is time to turn up the heat on a promotional or new work opportunity.

And if you need to relocate for work, plan to start a different set of decisions. It will get harder as the life part of work-life grows in importance. No one said it would be easy. But it is all worth it.

(And apologies for the poorly drawn map. It was the best I could do. I hope it made you smile.)

Have a Happy (and Balanced) New Year

We send you greetings from Mount Snow.

In my new retirement, start new work projects, never lose focus on family and friends, and find the appropriate "me time", I wish you all a wonderful 2011.

For my wife and me, 2010 will end in Vermont and we will begin 2011 here, too. Balance means enjoying the slopes in the morning, working or finding quiet time in the afternoons, and also having friends and family visit. So far, so good. 

I wish you all great success in work and life and in finding the right balance for you.

Has "The New Normal" Impacted Work-Life?

We have had a horrible financial decade, now statistically coming out of the worst economic crisis since The Great Depression. And while businesses are showing signs of life, unemployment continues to be too high.

Layoffs are way of corporate life with companies tightening down wherever they can to deliver to their shareholders. Whatever relationship existed between a company and an employee has broken down. Employees expect less, fear more and employers are happy to accommodate.

I grew up in a paternalistic company where it was anticipated that you would work for a full career. Although I worked there for over three decades, the environment changed many years ago as managing one's career evolved to be a two-way street. Be competitive in the job marketplace to be wanted by your company. Simple.

But even in that context, loyalty seems to be gone in the majority of large corporations. With scarce jobs and not much changing, we are in what many have called "The New Normal". And it seems that work-life discussions may be suffering.

Work-life is all about tradeoffs. And in many cases, it is the shifting of work time to make sure that family or personal time happens. I want all of us to be successful at work, but I want that work success to be in context of a bigger picture. The objective is that professionals understand that they don't need to miss out on all the important things in family and relationships. If you're not happy at home, then your work will suffer... and vice-versa, by the way.

So - what do we do when our work lives have the shadow of layoffs hanging over us? Can you really go to that soccer game if you think the person in the office next to you is more visible than you and perhaps one of you will be laid off? Is it no longer an option to focus on things at home and have a little work-life balance?

Yes, more and more companies are providing flexible work environments and we see people working at home and taking advantage of a 24 hour day for work and life. But I'm worried that the courage required to declare a life decision in this New Normal is being threatened.

I'm not sure I like what the future holds.

Photo Credit: Kevin Dooley